My naturalization ceremony is today, 5/24/22 and my emotions are running deep. I haven’t even shared the news with my friends. I should be excited to be taking the oath of allegiance, I mean, I will finally become a United States Citizen; however, the thought of it has taken me to a dark place. It makes me reminisce on what it took me to get here. The lies, deceit, trauma, stigma, and so on. My response to my dark place is staying in my bubble. Shutting down and disconnecting from everyone. Sadly, that’s my default. I am consciously not trying to go down that route and thankfully, I am in a better headspace. Maybe I’ll share my story, maybe I won’t… time will tell.
In any case, lets talk about dating.
I am low key bombed that most guys don’t want to be with single mothers. I mean, why would anyone rather be with someone who has a kid when you can be with someone who doesn’t, right? But life happens!
I am currently dating this guy that I like; I really like him. Lets call him Fred. Fred and I met on Hinge, a dating app, late August of last year. After talking for a few weeks, we decided to meet-up in person over brunch. He knew I was a single mother from day one. I always disclose this information.
Acknowledging that we’re not all perfect, Fred wasn’t everything I wanted but he had most of the things I wanted. We shared most of the same values, views on life, activities, goals, food, etc. It’s been a beautiful experience and we were head over heels for each other.
Sadly, it seems to be fizzling out between us.
Why?
He’s not sure if he has what it takes to be a father to a 7-year-old. In his words, “I want to be with you; however, being with you means I’ll be a surrogate dad to your daughter. I fear that If I wear the shoe, I don’t know if I will be able to walk in it”.
Fred is consistent and honest, which I appreciate, but what triggered the conversation? Why now? why didn’t he say it earlier when we just met?
After all, I told him from day one that I was a single mother.
TO BE CONTNUED…
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