What Are We Doing?

A male friend of mine asked that I lowered my standards. I asked… what standards? Is it too much to ask to love and be loved OR to want a man that wants me and all of me?

At my age, I am 33-years-old. I do not think all the above are too much to ask.

He said, you have what most people want. You’re successful and you have a kid. Not many women can do what you’re doing. You chose to play the role of a father and a mother to your kid, you’re doing a great job. It’s okay if the guys you’re dating don’t want marriage. Enjoy the moment! Marriage isn’t all it is!

Be selfish, he said.

Use the guys as well, either for your financial gain or emotionally. If the sex is good, keep him temporarily…until you find the Ying to your Yang.

Would you consider his advise Words of Wisdom?

I don’t know, you tell me?

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In my previous post, I mentioned Fred and I were fizzling out. It sucks, no lie! Then, we couldn’t get our hands off each other and now, we just give each other hugs. Need I mention…side hugs? Yes! That’s all we do now. This doesn’t change the fact that we still have great conversations. We talk about anything and everything. He used to call me his favorite person. Favorite person, soon to be historical person.

One Friday, I spent the night at his. As usual, we have great times together and he takes really good care of me. The next morning, over breakfast…oh, Fred is a good cook. I love me a man that can cook.

Over breakfast, we were having our random conversations and I remember asking, “By the way, what are we doing?” I dreaded asking that daunting question. Why? because often times, you don’t know what response to expect. And honestly, if you’re having to ask a guy that question, you should be wary. We once mentioned we were exclusive, but, I genuinely waned more.

I’m not trying to paint Fred as a bad person. He’s a great guy in his own way. Although, he never bought the bike he promised for my birthday… story for another day! Back to the main narrative.

He wasn’t expecting the question, so he did feel ambushed and he gave me the same response he always has “I want to be with you; however, being with you means I’ll be a surrogate dad to your daughter. I fear that If I wear the shoe, I don’t know if I will be able to walk in it” He also stated “I am coming around, I really am. I like you a lot but as an over thinker, I don’t know. Maybe I am moving ahead of myself”. Consistent huh?

Are you wondering why I am still with the guy that gives me the same response every time I ask the daunting question ?

Me too, I ask myself the exact same question every time.

Am I hoping he’ll come around?

Why am I hoping he’ll come around?

Maybe I don’t know how to call it quits?

Fred is consistent, his actions matches his words.. But what happened to the saying that goes “When a man wants you, he’ll accept you and all of you?

My friend and I bet $5 for everyday that goes by and I don’t end things with him. I told her I’ll rather do it in person…for the good times we’ve shared. Excuses? Buying time? You tell me.

Fred turned a year older some days ago. I took him out to dinner with the hopes of ending our Situationship.

Do you think I called it off with him?

TO BE CONTINUED…

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